QUICK! Sixteen Really Important Things from 2012 That I Forgot to Share

“QUICK!” Ha! Who’m I kidding?

And “really important”—wooooooo, that’s a chuckler, too.

I’m supposed to be working on year-end bookkeeping and reports and tallying and blah-blah-blah. But it’s been so long since you and I had a chat. And if I get the bookkeeping and reporting and tallying done . . . → Read More: QUICK! Sixteen Really Important Things from 2012 That I Forgot to Share

There’s a Hatch for That

Hatch Chiles.

BOOM.

I just changed your life.

Unless you already knew about them.

In which case: why were you holding out on me about these available-once-a-year, about half-as-hot-as-a-jalapeno peppers? (I forgive you. Please don’t do it again.)

* * * * *

Last August and September I experimented with a couple . . . → Read More: There’s a Hatch for That

Considering It: The Beginning of Beginnings and The End of October

Sisterhood, when I said we were going to have to back up again, I meant business:

May 3, 1977

That’s right, the five-to-the-three-to-the-seven-seven.

When I said ‘back up again’ you maybe thought earlier in October? Or September, perhaps? August, if stretching?

Aaaaahahahahaha, no.

. . . → Read More: Considering It: The Beginning of Beginnings and The End of October

Considering It: The Happening of Time and Chance

(October 22nd)

Can you believe it’s still October at the almost-end of November? Spring is totally going to get here before winter does. Maybe.

You remember Gridda, right? Gridda the sadomasochistic beast?

Well, as mean and hateful as she is, and as much as I despise her . . . → Read More: Considering It: The Happening of Time and Chance

Considering It: “Yes, Really,” Said He

(October 18th–Part 1 of 3)

The night of October 17th, I slept with ice packs on Right Knee and a heating pad under my back. The ice because I knew I needed to, the heating pad because brrrrrrrr.

First thing the next morning, I took another one of those . . . → Read More: Considering It: “Yes, Really,” Said He

Bury Me with The Beans from 2003

I was in the kitchen all day yesterday. Except for when I wasn’t. But mostly I was.

Mincing, chopping, slicing, shredding, roasting, melting, stuffing, rolling. Drooling.

And? Juicing.

Turns out I have a lime juicer (squeezer?) thing. I didn’t realize (or remember?) I even had it, which . . . → Read More: Bury Me with The Beans from 2003

Tequila-Lime Chicken Toe with a Splash of Bum

Yesterday evening I sustained a heinous injury to the second toe on my left foot in what shall hereafter be referred to as The Mower Incident. There is some household debate about whether or not I will lose the nail (and I’m rather surprised he’s arguing the point with me, considering I skipped . . . → Read More: Tequila-Lime Chicken Toe with a Splash of Bum

I Need Pants That Judge Me

Sisterhood, I expect that as my friend you are going to hold me accountable in a few areas. So that there is no misunderstanding later about what I am asking of you, maybe it’s a good idea to clearly set out my expectations. I don’t want to overwhelm you, though, so let’s start . . . → Read More: I Need Pants That Judge Me

RIP, My Friend (BBM, 2008-2010)

Last weekend The Other Valley Boy surprised The Other Valley Girl with a new iPhone, which is officially the sweetest thing I’ve ever wished he had never done. Because? With no warning, our Blackberry Messengering days were over.

The depth of our addiction loyalty to messengering is most evident in the . . . → Read More: RIP, My Friend (BBM, 2008-2010)

The Big, Salty Toilet (And My Contribution Thereto)

Ok, so where were we in the unpacking of Other Such vacation treasures?

We covered Carmen del Playa and Pepe I.

Then came Oscar.

Which brings us to snorkeling.

The four of us, still laughing about Our Pal Oscar, boarded a boat with another family . . . → Read More: The Big, Salty Toilet (And My Contribution Thereto)