What Multiple Losses Do

Nineteen weeks.

Specifically, as of today: 19w3d.

This is the farthest we’ve made it in a pregnancy since The Four-Why-Oh was gestatin’.

Which should bring me a lot of comfort. Excitement even.

And in some ways, it does.

But for the most part, . . . → Read More: What Multiple Losses Do

We, Appropriately Inappropriate (Alligator)

After posting this morning, I realized that I’ve neglected to tell you the joke about the girl who lost her father while she’s in the middle of an estrogen-pill-popping protocol as part of readying herself for another embryo transfer. Which is just as well on account of: no punchline. On account of: . . . → Read More: We, Appropriately Inappropriate (Alligator)

Considering It: The Togetherness In Which We Are Held

Saturday night we met up with a large group of friends for a food and game night. During one round of “The Newlywed Game” the following question was asked of the husbands: “What does your wife have too many of?”

Most of the husbands answered ‘shoes’ or ‘clothes’ but one gave . . . → Read More: Considering It: The Togetherness In Which We Are Held

Considering It: The Part Where We Begin Walking

Sometimes I feel like I owe you a couple days of processing before I resume telling a story. So that I tell it in the right way, whatever way that is.

Sometimes I feel like I owe me a couple days of processing before I resume telling a story. For the . . . → Read More: Considering It: The Part Where We Begin Walking

Considering It: Sing About the Wheels

A few nights ago, The Child and I loaded into our car to head home from church. Before pulling away from the curb, I scrolled through the missed messages and emails that had accumulated on my phone while it had been silenced. Growing impatient and bored with my reading (and being anxious to . . . → Read More: Considering It: Sing About the Wheels

The MotherSuch, The GrandMotherSuch, and The Sacs

My paraphrased retelling of a retold-to-me conversation between The MotherSuch and her mother, The GrandMotherSuch, following our ultrasound last Thursday:

The GrandMotherSuch: How did their appointment go?

The MotherSuch: Good. They saw a gestational sac and a yolk sac.

The GrandMotherSuch (who had four children of . . . → Read More: The MotherSuch, The GrandMotherSuch, and The Sacs

Considering It: All on the Altar

Some days, like today, I sit down to write and don’t know where to start. That always works out really well for us both, you realize that don’t you?

It’s just that this is the last (planned) post for 2011 and so while I don’t want to get ahead of myself, . . . → Read More: Considering It: All on the Altar

Unable To See Past The Overwhelming

As November neared its close, a period showed up. A period, Sisterhood! A real one! Aren’t you just beside yourself with happiness at that news? I know you are. You’re so sweet-bordering-on-strange with your devotion to following my lady cycling. 

By month’s end, I was reunited with the needles. Which was a relief. . . . → Read More: Unable To See Past The Overwhelming

11dp5dt – Beta – Chemical Pregnancy

So, so, so.

So.

Instead of doubling, my HCG level fell drastically in the opposite direction, from 63 down to 8.

Meaning . . . chemical pregnancy.

Meaning . . .

sigh.

So.

Right now it’s a . . . → Read More: 11dp5dt – Beta – Chemical Pregnancy

9dp5dt – Spotting – Beta – 10dp5dt

So am I making you crazy with the waiting? Because ironically? I’m making me crazy with the not waiting.

In fairness to you, a warning: if the mention of bloodishness gets you all weakly feeling, or is just too much information for you, stop now. I won’t mind. I mean, seriously, . . . → Read More: 9dp5dt – Spotting – Beta – 10dp5dt