I spent some time last night working on the first Other Such: Shelbyville community column. The most surprising thing about this: the deadline for submitting it is over a week away, which leaves me with a nagging sense that I am not adequately procrastinating.
Falling into the categories of Not Surprising and Even Less Surprising would be:
(1) I read back over it and it is as To The Point-Less as anything that’s ever been published here (Post-Child Personal Rule #1: be true to me in whatever forum I land); and
(2) the word limit is 500 and after trimming I am still at 678.
So, I suppose I’ll let it simmer for a week until the pressure of a pending deadline is making the lid rumble just a bit, then skim off the top again next Tuesday or Wednesday, and e-mail whatever is left to the editor just in time for the deadline. Mmmmmmmm, sounds delicious! Also: the same recipe that got me through college and grad school. So it should work for this, too. Tried and true and all.
Really, what I’ve found to be the thing best served with procrastination? Office supply hyper-organization. What Other Such: Shelbyville needs is some color-coded highlighting, index tabbing, polka-dotted paper-clipping. Some fancy-shaped hole-punching, flattest-of-flat stapling, 22-pound-98-bright papering. The answers are in the comb-bound card stock covers, ultra fine point rainbow-colored Sharpies, multi-sized binder clips. How could I possibly think of turning out a product not bedecked by neon geometric Post-Its, tucked into a crisp manila envelope, sealed with at least two preprinted labels? For shame.
Then, and only then, it will be ready.
The weight of all that office accessorization is bound to knock, lift, punch, and bleed at least a hundred words right off the page.
That was easy.